Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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