I'm really into asian looking animals
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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