so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
