It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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