I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
