They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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