I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
