What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
How external is "for external use only"?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
