Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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