We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
false alarm. still invincible.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
