Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
tell me about the eggs
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
