it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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