so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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