Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
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And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
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The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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