Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
