I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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