She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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