a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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