is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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