A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
