woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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