i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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