i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.