we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
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shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
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All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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