Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.