Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high. http://tfl.nu/w9mm
  Replies (28) Good night (6222) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I understand why you refuse to be sober now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I understand why you refuse to be sober now http://tfl.nu/j30b
  Replies (8) Good night (4857) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path. http://tfl.nu/8tge
  Replies (6) Good night (2294) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off. http://tfl.nu/7fq9
  Replies (12) Good night (6056) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers. http://tfl.nu/28i2
  Replies (22) Good night (1205) Bad night (1833)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around http://tfl.nu/jysb
  Replies (5) Good night (929) Bad night (1411)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with? http://tfl.nu/xos6
  Replies (9) Good night (1887) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him http://tfl.nu/yvui
  Replies (12) Good night (2366) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon

  (310): View more from California

  Fuck you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon (310): Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/u7vm
  Replies (6) Good night (2175) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards. http://tfl.nu/sqj0
  Replies (3) Good night (975) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  This ER has an aquarium in it!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): This ER has an aquarium in it!!! http://tfl.nu/uric
  Replies (11) Good night (1873) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing... http://tfl.nu/wirp
  Replies (13) Good night (532) Bad night (2052)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep? http://tfl.nu/76br
  Replies (7) Good night (1021) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (787): I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement http://tfl.nu/yxd8
  Replies (3) Good night (399) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  But what if it got lost?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in. (1-770): But what if it got lost? (770): its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it. http://tfl.nu/ord5
  Replies (2) Good night (506) Bad night (335)

Randomize