She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED