worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right