Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I'll just stay a virgin forever then

(1-856): View more from New Jersey

You still have to go anyway

(856): View more from New Jersey

Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around

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(856): I'll just stay a virgin forever then (1-856): You still have to go anyway (856): Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around http://tfl.nu/rkrx

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!

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(502): Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!! http://tfl.nu/qcph

Replies (42) Good night (936) Bad night (20002)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?

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(504): dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty? http://tfl.nu/lq5o

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(613): View more from Ontario

i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.

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(613): i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice. http://tfl.nu/jk56

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(586): View more from Michigan

apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.

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(586): apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that. http://tfl.nu/dpbh

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(913): View more from Kansas

It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.

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(913): It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide. http://tfl.nu/jrdr

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(772): View more from Florida

I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates

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(772): I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates http://tfl.nu/4z1l

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?

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(780): Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job? http://tfl.nu/b4va

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(908): View more from New Jersey

She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird

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(908): She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird http://tfl.nu/j88i

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(434): View more from Virginia

I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth

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(434): I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth http://tfl.nu/xnjt

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.

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(908): Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea. http://tfl.nu/8iqm

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(775): View more from Nevada

He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min

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(775): He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min http://tfl.nu/44lr

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.

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(252): Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question. http://tfl.nu/ellm

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(616): View more from Michigan

Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?

(1-616): View more from Michigan

I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.

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(616): Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries? (1-616): I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex. http://tfl.nu/oahp

Replies (5) Good night (828) Bad night (187)
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(431): View more from

Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.

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(431): Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches. http://tfl.nu/58c6

Replies (5) Good night (1533) Bad night (156)

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