Already got asked if we're dating
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
