Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
