I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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