Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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