come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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