So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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