I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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