____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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