i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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