I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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