Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
