...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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