He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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