Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Two words: blizzard sex
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize