I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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