if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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