i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I came so hard my ears popped.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
