My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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