I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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