blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Sorry about my life...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
