So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize