I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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