Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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