it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
