Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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