You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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