Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
