I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
