i would punch a child for taco bell
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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