I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I AM VODKA MAN
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
