well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
