Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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