I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
