Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
