If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
